The Talk

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A critical examination of modern consent culture, arguing that its emphasis on perfect self-knowledge and enthusiastic speech places an impossible burden on women, and that a better sexual ethics must embrace desire's uncertainty and our shared human vulnerability.

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What it’s about

In the wake of #MeToo, we've been told that the solution to sexual violence and bad sex is 'enthusiastic consent'—that women must clearly know, articulate, and perform their desires to be safe and satisfied. Katherine Angel's 'Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again' powerfully dismantles this narrative, revealing it as a dangerous trap. The book argues that the pressure for absolute clarity ignores the fundamental nature of desire itself: that it is often uncertain, emergent, and discovered only through interaction. By tracing the history of feminist thought, sexology, and cultural scripts around arousal and vulnerability, Angel exposes how 'consent culture' unfairly burdens women with managing all sexual risk, punishing them for the normal human experiences of ambivalence and not-knowing. This book is a necessary call for a new sexual ethics, one that moves beyond individual assertiveness to a shared responsibility, where curiosity, exploration, and a mutual recognition of vulnerability pave the way for true pleasure and safety for everyone.

The through-line

Who it’s for
A thoughtful individual navigating the complexities of modern sexuality, who desires joyful and safe intimate experiences but feels burdened and confused by the cultural emphasis on enthusiastic consent and the constant pressure to perform a perfectly self-knowing sexual self.
The problem
The dominant cultural script demands women have perfect, pre-existing knowledge of their desires and articulate them with unwavering confidence, turning sex into a high-stakes performance of risk management. They feel anxious about their own uncertainty or ambivalence, wondering if it's a personal failing, and fear being punished or shamed for both expressing desire (saying yes) and for setting boundaries (saying no).
The plan
  1. Deconstruct the myths of consent culture by understanding its historical context and inherent limitations.
  2. Reframe desire not as a known object but as an emergent, responsive, and uncertain process.
  3. Critique the 'science' of arousal to see how physiological data is often misused to invalidate women's subjective experiences.
  4. Embrace vulnerability as a universal human condition and the foundation for a more ethical and pleasurable approach to sex.
The payoff
The reader feels liberated from the pressure to perform a confident, all-knowing sexual self. · They can approach intimacy with more curiosity, less anxiety, and a greater capacity for joy. · They possess a new framework for sexual ethics based on shared responsibility and care, rather than individual risk management.

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